Birds
by d-rose
Summary: What is it they have with birds? The Gov's attachment to wigs explained


Brethren of the Pen Challenge VII

**Birds**

The noise of screaming seagulls was deafening. They were everywhere, skimming through the sails and flying over people's heads. Their presence told the HMS Dauntless –bringing her captives to Port Royal where the pirates waited their proper punishment; a short drop and a sudden stop- that her passengers could now catch a first glimpse of the main port any minute.

"Oooh, the horror… unbearable". Governor Swann stumbled from up the deck into the hold below. With pure disgust on his face he examined his costume; there were white blobs of seagull crap on his coat and on his pants.

"Hihihi", he heard. The governor looked up and noticed two pirates in the nearest cell. It was a dirty bald fat one who giggled and who even had the nerve to continue: "There's dirt on your precious wig too, you know!" More laughter, until he was poked by the second, more skinny pirate. One who was missing an eye and who carried a wooden ball instead, the governor realised appalled.

"It's not funny", One-eye said.

"Oh I think it is", Baldy replied. "Mister Governor is in deep shit, hehe!"

"I suggest you reconsider your own situation, gentlemen. After all you're only nearing your final station. The gallows." Governor Swann condescended to answer. Meanwhile he reached his hand and carefully felt his wig, shivering when something wet and sticky wrapped his fingers.

One-eye looked concerned, he obviously wasn't the brightest among them. "Seagulls are devils, really. I can tell. Pintell, you know it's true!" He nearly begged the bald pirate. Pintell sighed, "Yes, it's true, Ragetti." Ragetti stared somewhat vacantly as if looking at a picture in his head. "You think they're nice and juicy birds, but they're just reckless…" Pintell nodded and explained, raising his shoulders: "He once tried to catch one." "I did…," Ragetti almost whined, "… I tried to catch him, for I was hungry. That bird was just sitting there, staring at me… so I stalked him… He lured me… And then he just took my eye! My EYE!"

Ragetti rubbed his hurt eye in deep sadness. That made the eyeball drop out of its socket onto the flour and Ragetti immediately fell on his knees, exclaiming for his eye a couple of times more while industrious searching. Pintell produced a fake smile and excused his mate: "Normally we claim he lost his eye during a fight."

The Governor – frozen- broke the spell of this ridiculous farce and coughed. "Well, there are of course other ways to obtain a decent meal." Determined to ignore these miserable scoundrels from now on he turned his back to them and raised his hands again to go on removing the dirt in the mass of hair.

"Why don't you just take it off?" Pintell appeared to be curious. "Are you afraid we see you without your wig? Do you think you can lose even more of your dignity?" His irritating way of grinning made Governor Swann react, despite himself. He was furious: "My wig has nothing to do with my dignity! I _shall_ show myself to you without my wig." And he actually took it off. There his somewhat bald head was revealed. On it was a deep red stain, a scar that had the size of an egg . "You see, I once had an encounter with a seagull myself too. I tried to save my wig from getting dirty by taking it off when we were surrounded by seagulls, but I got the dirt on my very own skin instead. It's nasty stuff; it burns and it _hurts_. I will never _ever_ make the mistake of taking off my wig in public again." After saying that he fiercely put the wig back on his head, indifferent to the fact that it was rather crooked. Neither Pintell nor Ragetti laughed.

"Land ho!" it sounded from up the deck.

All of a sudden the door to the deck was opened and Commodore Norrington's silhouette stood out against the blue sky. At the same time the sound of seagulls became louder again and one could see them swarm behind the Commodore's back. "Governor Swann? We need you up here, we're putting into port."

Governor Swann restrained himself and forced himself not to check his clothes or wig again. Without another single look he walked away from the cell and passed the Commodore who at his turn gave the two pirates an examining look, then closed the door.

In the shadows at the back of the room lieutenant Gilette sighed relieved yet silent. He was glad he hadn't been noticed during the Governor's awkward moment. Then perhaps he would have been forced to show the result of_ his_ encounter with a seagull and that would have been even much more awkward. Gilette shivered by the nasty sounds of those flying invaders and absent minded rubbed his nipple.


End file.
